We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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