I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
