Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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