There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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