Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
