Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
A+ Viking dick
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
