mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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