I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she woke up with a sticky ear
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
