Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
