I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
