I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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