She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize