i used baking grease as lip gloss
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
