tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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