You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize