Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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