why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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