my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
