You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
