I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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