Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.