$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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