Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.

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  (973): how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/ql7e
  Replies (19) Good night (4488) Bad night (2165)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame

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  (708): either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame http://tfl.nu/9sw5
  Replies (9) Good night (5130) Bad night (1017)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano

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  (210): I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano http://tfl.nu/qhs9
  Replies (23) Good night (1228) Bad night (6396)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.

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  (609): my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway. http://tfl.nu/j8p7
  Replies (28) Good night (1505) Bad night (9914)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok

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  (443): I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok http://tfl.nu/hllh
  Replies (7) Good night (3374) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done

  (760): View more from California

  Victory lap

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  (646): Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done (760): Victory lap http://tfl.nu/nhvd
  Replies (5) Good night (3153) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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  (713): His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life. http://tfl.nu/34re
  Replies (12) Good night (3739) Bad night (758)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"

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  (815): I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning" http://tfl.nu/wpur
  Replies (9) Good night (1135) Bad night (2787)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted

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  (785): totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted http://tfl.nu/rzdq
  Replies (2) Good night (3433) Bad night (817)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Your penis chewing exercise is not working

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  (813): Your penis chewing exercise is not working http://tfl.nu/tw98
  Replies (6) Good night (613) Bad night (1717)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"

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  (719): I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!" http://tfl.nu/n0v3
  Replies (2) Good night (1602) Bad night (580)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.

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  (519): I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work. http://tfl.nu/8fuo
  Replies (3) Good night (1211) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other

  (1-979): View more from Texas

  LOL its 11 am

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  (979): Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other (1-979): LOL its 11 am http://tfl.nu/yfdw
  Replies (7) Good night (1206) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.

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  (832): Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead. http://tfl.nu/yr8v
  Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.

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  (360): You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it. http://tfl.nu/4bwy
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (328)

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