i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.