my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was