they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
