Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...

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(936): View more from Texas

Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.

(1-936): View more from Texas

Can I eat your pillow?

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(559): View more from California

i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us

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(707): View more from California

I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.

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(434): View more from Virginia

After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.

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