Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim

Fav 18 2128 957
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.

Fav 50 5756 1624
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

Fav 11 3190 1058
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome

Fav 13 5180 1240
share tweet
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.

Fav 11 1309 4457
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

On my way to the DMV to get arrested

Fav 8 1332 2347
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.

(917): View more from New York City

Please tell me you're talking about his personality.

Fav 7 2736 1588
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks

Fav 2 91 163
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.

Fav 1 14 69
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT