My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.