Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

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(206): I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work. http://tfl.nu/jzpk

Replies (31) Good night (3593) Bad night (622)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

happy early fathers day!!!

(829): View more from Dominican Rep

im not a father

(843): View more from South Carolina

about that...

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(843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z

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(503): View more from Oregon

I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed

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(503): I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed http://tfl.nu/wtld

Replies (55) Good night (1015) Bad night (6331)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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(503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v

Replies (42) Good night (6042) Bad night (944)
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(530): View more from California

just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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(530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx

Replies (28) Good night (7723) Bad night (648)
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(937): View more from Ohio

she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor

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(937): she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor http://tfl.nu/fo1n

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(434): View more from Virginia

i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome

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(434): i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome http://tfl.nu/lk4z

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(408): View more from California

I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete

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(408): I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete http://tfl.nu/3qb5

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(760): View more from California

Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.

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(760): Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now. http://tfl.nu/d97x

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(847): View more from Illinois

there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.

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(847): there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/7c5f

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(281): View more from Texas

I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts

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(281): I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts http://tfl.nu/b2dg

Replies (1) Good night (838) Bad night (681)
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(519): View more from Ontario

My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

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(519): My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!! http://tfl.nu/hi1l

Replies (6) Good night (1735) Bad night (466)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.

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(202): Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out. http://tfl.nu/48b9

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(925): View more from California

So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?

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(925): So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*? http://tfl.nu/emo3

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(847): View more from Illinois

I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics

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(847): I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics http://tfl.nu/jc4w

Replies (5) Good night (549) Bad night (232)

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