What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
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i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
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Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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