If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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