Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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