she looked like the before picture.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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