Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
