Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
