the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
