New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
