a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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