i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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