You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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