just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
