What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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