How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
