Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
