Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
