Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
