fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
