he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize