you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
