Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There r osticjed everywhere
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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