Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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