dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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