Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
