the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
