please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
