I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
