was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
