he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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