I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
