I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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