Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
