Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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