So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
How many fucks given?