Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???