may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.