All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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