Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
