Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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