You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
