all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
