Sry I called you an 8
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
