Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
