Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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