I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
